Wanted Man

Now I am receiving emails from the FBI and the CIA! What did I do! I visited more than 30 illegal sites?! I didn't know there were illegal sites! I guess I will have to open the list of questions and then answer them.



Ah, spam. Couldn't they pick a different name for each?

Long time no post

I guess the holy day week end went well. Heidi and I went northwest to almost Canada to see my aunt, cousin, his wife, their kid, my parents, brother, his fiance, my grandparents and my uncle who is not married to my aunt... they are siblings. We did the turkey eating thing and pretty much hung out.

We were back home by Friday night but missed the DDRing and such proclaimed by this guy. I hate driving or sitting in a car for any lengthy amount of time. I was tired. It is too bad though perhaps my sunny personality would have made the night more enjoyable. Ha. Ha. The rest of the weekend basically consisted of me reading book 11 with Harold and Kumar, some eating and some running thrown in.

Last night was hockey night. We got thromped to the toon of 5-0 (actually I did score a goal but the stupid ass ref whistled it dead... after it was in the net). After the game several of us went out for some beers. I returned with some smelly clothes and a severe case of the hiccups. I was up quite late waiting for them to go away. Currently I am tired, drink a coffee and eating a bagel. You?

Provocative Prose

I have started delving into the fun that is google maps api. It is much more amusing than what I normally do at work... I am not sure why though. I think that the only time I have actually enjoyed myself here is when I am trying out something new or learning something new. For example, I enjoyed the email I wrote yesterday which involved reading through the UPnP ContentDirectory1.0 [pdf] and figuring out what was amiss, but today I did not like writing the email that said, 'Sorry someone working for me fucked up and we need to redo some testing.' I do that too much. I know that being in charge is supposed to give you privileges in addition to the extra responsibilty but I don't see it. All I see is more work with less reward (don't say traveling).

Anyways, in the near future you should look forward to seeing a map of all the exciting and exotic places I have traveled in the last year or so. I also plan to keep going places but I will enjoy it more when I can go with Heidi to where I want, when I want, even if it is on our own dime. Al, when I'm finished I can give you the script and you can make your own dealy, but only if you want. You've been more places than I.

Good is dumb

Ah, guten morgen meine Herren und Frauen. All I have to say is, what the fuck did you expect?! People are so pompous sometimes.

Stupid FedEx! I called several times last night to get a package returned that I had shipped out a little too soon (well not too soon but someone fucked up). It seems that a package can only be halted if it has been removed from the truck that picked it up and scanned. If it has been scanned, however, it is generally then put on another truck and moved someplace else and once it gets packaged up to go someplace far away it is difficult to stop... apparently. I talked to several people last night and they all were quite nice and helpful with one exception. This guy was rude and I am pretty sure spiteful because the package I tried to halt is now in Japan (and I am really not going to fight customs to get it back). The dick head hung up on me before I was satisfied that I would actually get the package back! Very frustrating in the fact that I could not get the package back and that I needed to get the package back. Sigh.

Stick, stick, stick.

Blurst of Times

I am sending packages this morning. It is fun near mindless work, though everything seems to be broken this morning (but just for me, joy!). So I am feeling a little bit more relaxed since I got back. I think that being around people you know and just taking it easier is helping. For example, I woke up this morning, then went back to bed for a hour, then went for a run, after which I stretched a little and sat around. Only then did I get up and go to work. Now I am here and things are not looking to bad. There are a couple of things I need to do today, but nothing really urgent. I just need to keep on top of things so everything does not get out of hand. The only annoying thing is I forgot to bring a lunch again, but that is easily remedied.

Not much else to add here but that there is a hockey game tonight, and most likely turkey, football and beer/wine/spirits this Sunday with some friends. And next week it is up north to the hippie state to repeat next Sunday with my family.

Also, Heidi is putting together a froogle list for the upcoming celebration of commercialism. I wish everyone would do this so that I would not have to think about what to get people... blah. People do it for weddings! Why not this!

I apologize in advance

A comment from the last post was from Chloe. I cannot help but think of anyone whose name is Chloe as a pornstar. I do not think I've ever actually see a porno with a Chloe in it! Maybe it is because I've never actually met one. Hmm... best to ask, "Chloe, are you a pornstar?"

So I am home again. Hopefully, I will be here for a couple of more months at the least. I am bad a this traveling thing. I do not take the time to get flights that don't suck, I am terrible at packing, I can't really sleep on planes, and I am terrible about talking business. The last is especially bad when you are on a business trip because that is the most important thing you can do. Blah.

Now I, who has never been able to keep track of what's going on, will try to come up with a system of keeping track of what is going on. What a terribly good idea. If only I knew how to start.

I really have nothing to say so I will stop writing now.

Guten Morgen

I awoke this morning tired. I have not slept well in the last couple of nights. So I turned on the TV (which always defaults back to the Hotel channel and sets the volume to fucking loud). On it was our president doing his speaking thing. There are a couple of things that I found interesting. First was his continuous comparison of the 'war on terror' to the 'cold war'... this is probably the one thing in the whole speech I would not argue with him on. Nothing like fighting a concept. Though, I am pretty sure that intimidation and threats is not the best way to get someone to agree with you (I guess that comment can go for Bush and the 'terrorists').

The other thing I noticed is that he would often cough to stop the smirk he'd get when he was applauded. It makes me feel that he is either an egomaniac or lying to me. It makes me feel uncomfortable that someone like that has so much say in what happens around me.

I have a bunch more to say about a bunch more things, but there are things to do, people to see, e&c.

Photo

I went to a Luau last night. It was cheesie. I just wanted to show off some stuff I have seen now that I found a USB cable.

What you I do!

Okay, so I promised that I would let everyone know what I have been doing here in Hawaii. I would like to start by saying a couple of things: (1) I lost the USB cable to our camera in Seoul so I will only be able to show you photos when I find someone to borrow a cable from, (2) I have been trying to do as little work as possible, while I started working on that thing described in the last post, all I have to show is a list of tasks. This is not really what I was going for but as soon as I start examining what I am supposed to do I become befuddled. Hmm...

Thursday: Fly from Manchester to Detroit to San Francisco to Honolulu to Lihue. Get to Lihue to late to rent a car and very hungry as none of my flights served food (at least free food) and none of my lay-overs were long enough for me to eat. Checked into my hotel and slept.

Friday: Wake up and help myself to buffet in the hotel. The eggs are not runny so it may just be a good trip. Go to the airport to rent a car and drive up to the north shore. After a wrong turn and a short detour south where I bought coffee I headed north. I tried to stop at all the vistas and stuff but the highlight was definitely Limahuli Garden. I always like to find a nice relaxing place when I travel as it counteracts the fact that travel (at least traveling for work) is not relaxing. In Seoul there was the Changdeokgung Palace, and in Finland it was pretty much anywhere. I picked up a sub and beer on the way back to the hotel, watched hockey and worked on that thing.

Saturday: I ran into Alex, CJ and Cassie at breakfast. I decided not to go with them to the beach but to go hiking in Waimea Canyon. After a long and winding drive the views and the hike were very fulfilling. There is nothing like standing at the top of a 200 foot waterfall. Meet up with everyone for dinner and a few drinks (I had passed out while watching the Hulk when they called). Then retired early.

Sunday: Today I returned my car after a leisurely meal with Dickens, and I am now writing this and reading up on some stuff I should have done before I left NH. Perhaps I will go boogy boarding this afternoon... the future is not clear. Wish me luck.

What we call crap

I write this for lack of anything better to do and purhaps to better myself. I keep telling people that I have chalk the day I travel up as loss, but I also see it as a time of introspection (and reading). While I have been complaining a lot lately about my situation I have not really taken the time to actually see what part I have played in making myself miserable. I can honestly say that I know that it stems from me despising anything that has to do with work, but how did I get into this situation? Is there anything I can do to remedy the situation outside of a full-scale retreat? I think the answer to the first question has something to do with taking on a new project that I really did not see actually coming to fruition. At first it was a fun side project with little investment and some fun traveling. The problem was I did not properly invest in the project so when we did get the contract, I did not have everything planned out as well as I should have... I had to react. So now I am running around feeling the proverbial chicken sans head (is that really proverb or just a colloquialism? perhaps, colloquial chicken sans head). This is my fault. I accept that. This is a position I will try not to place myself in again. Moving on.



What can I do now? This is a more difficult question. Before, I would come into work and address problems as they came up but now I am shying away like a chicken (I am very good with metaphors today). As I have told Heidi, I am lacking confidence and this has caused me to lack desire to do anything. She has also told me that I should tell my boss(es) that I am unhappy. While this would be the stand up thing to do, I do not like admitting that I feel under prepared and unqualified for what I am doing. This trial by fire shit does not work for me. I almost always fail the first time, then become so embarrassed that I try my hardest to never put myself in a similar situation. I need to have a clear idea of what is expected of me for me to actually succeed at something. I need some structure, some support. Thus I have decided to write down what I expect myself and my employess/co-workers to do for the project. This will help myself and those under me, who most likely feel I am not directing them in any reasonable manner. While this is just a start it will hopefully allow me to move forward in a constructive manner. Maybe then I can actually tell my boss(es) what is bothering me and that I am going to quit as soon as can, and that I will not leave the group in a pile of shit. Attack!

Wow

This will be a quick post as I am writing it at the end of a meeting. I just want to say that I will be enjoying not being in the office for the next week plus. It is unfortunately I will not be going with anyone but what can you do. Maybe I will be less crazy when I get back.

I will try to update with photos and exciting stories, such as I went for a hike or I drank so coffee... yum. That is all for now.