I am not a 'Cock Bite'

All of you who have been dismayed at not being able to post because you did not have a Blogger account thingy can now post.

You are a hairy bastard.

Z.Monkey

Nap Time

'It is bad nap time'. Ah, jetlag. Yesterday I left work around 10:45 so that I could go to adult stick practice. It was fun and probably did me a lot of good (hockey-wise). After stick practice I did not go back to work but instead I went home, showered, ate, left, got my license renewed, went home again and spent the afternoon writing reports and emails (and playing disc golf). It was nice though I did feel a little guilty not coming back to work, which is strange since I did do work at home. I could even say that I did work more efficient at home than I do at work, but an underlying feeling of guilt and shame, instilled in me during my youth, kept creeping up on me. Sigh.

It did not help that a company called and demanded a conference call right away, and that someone else had to do it for me... perhaps that is where the guilt comes in. I just do not know. For those of you who care: Sox v. Yankees this Sunday. Woo? As the crimson jihad said, "It's hard to get excited for baseball without hockey playoffs." (Probably a misquote) Sigh.

Z.Monkey

Length Matters

Today I will attempt to write something a little bit longer than my last two posts, which, by all accounts, were quite brief. Randomly posting a comment is fine and good but it does not allow one to fully express anything.

Once again, the new place is really nice. We are looking into buying a new TV as the old TV is too deep for our new entertainment center thingy. This way we may also be able to get one with all sorts of neat stuff! We'll see... I have been having trouble concentrating on work. All I want to do is go home and read or hang out... hell I'd even to work so long as it was at home! This I may end up doing for a portion of tomorrow, along with going to stick practice and renewing my license. Fun Fun.

I also want to comment on how the continued stubborness of one of my co-workers is hurting my brain. This co-worker wrote a macro for Excel that generate histograms and does some chi square tests to determine randomness in the TBEBO data (really crappy link). As I did not feel like redoing his work I decided to use his macro, which means I have to generate several files and save the captured data in a specific format. This would be fine and dandy but for the fact that this process has not been updated since the mid to late 90's (command line anyone?). This co-worker even runs his code on 95/98 machines because he does not want to recompile the code! Grrr... just because something works does not mean you should continue to use it forever... for God sake (stop using Bible?) the hardware is an ISA card. You can only buy PIII computers with ISA slots and those (look at the cost of just a proc) end up being as expensive as a PIV. Poo.

Z. Monkey

Stupid Monkey

The move went incredibly well. The new place is much better than the old in almost every way, and, as Udy would say, "everything good!" That is all. I have to do some work sometime today.

Z. Monkey

Oh, and you may have noticed the image above. You can refresh (F5) for a new and equally crappy image.

Consumption

Where was this webpage when I was working on my tremendously long paper on the 1665 plague epidemic of London. Particularly when I was trying to decipher the Bills of Morality Mortality. Consumption is Tuberculosis!

Fuck you! I think that the dictionary has taken creativity out of spelling! Why can't our dictionaries be 'Incomplete and deficient'?

Shades of Grey

On a whim I have decided to make this weblog all shades of grey (fo!). I have not completed the effort because I figure I should do some work today. I will remove all crappy colors in the near future (after I move, after I work, and probably after some drinky drink) and tweak the greys so that they are easier on the eyes.

Also, has anyone every been completely clobbered by stubborness before? It like a child saying 'Poop' over and over again to whatever you say. It is rather disorientating and it leaves your mind in shambles. Imagine, if you will, if your mind were stuck in the oven then raped by the 1000 pound bastard child of an elephant and a gorilla.

Poop

Pulsating Grey Stuff

So I can be like everyone else. Apparently I live in a very small world. I will probably attempt this silly quiz again when my head stops pulsating. B!

English Genius You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 77% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on Beginner You scored higher than 34% on Intermediate You scored higher than 54% on Advanced You scored higher than 71% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

'No Comment'

Are my prose so inconsequental that they do not cause any response? Should I start writing poetry? This I will attempt:

I sit here at work
I feel like a jerk
for I am as sick as an leper
who has a fucking goober
stuck in his throat.

Perhaps very soon
It will soon be noon
when I can take a nap
and pull my BoSox cap
down before my eyes.

The pain in my head is great,
It sucks a lot.
Every noise is starting to grate,
It hurts a lot.

Fuck.

Perhaps the shittiness of the poem is an indication of its sincerity. If it were good it could be construed as an attempt to flaunt my cleverness. I got that idea from here because I cannot come up with anything new. If you are bored: http://www.metaweb.com/QSMW. It's probably a waste of time.

Z. Monkey

Home Sick

I am staying home sick today because I feel like crap. Currently I am (was/will be? I obviously am not right now) doing work and watching my wife play with a gigantic purple ball.

The question I have is, if I stay home sick and do work at home do I take a sick day or just say I was working at home? I could always take a sick day and subtract the hours I work today at home from Friday. This would be convenient as I have to take some time off to sign the lease for the new place anyways. Less than a fucking week til we move!

Update: Woo... its 11am time for The Price Is Right!

Subversive

I have been receiving emails from such groups as moveon.org and a common strategy they employ is that of the reformed sinner (Amen!?). For example:

'So, we're inviting you to share your story and help us find Republicans and former Bush supporters against privatization. Please just take a couple of minutes today to click on the link below and write a testimonial about Social Security or forward this e-mail to Republicans or former Bush supporters you know.

http://www.moveonpac.org/socialsecurity/mystory/'

While I do not really think of this as subversive, I think it is a stupid tactic. Of course every republican is not going to agree with everything Bush does, just like every Democrat did not want Dean as the DNC Chair. Pointing out what is wrong with the current Republican government does nothing, because a large number of people do not see the Democratic Party as an alternative, but maybe that's because everyone is a fucking moron and thinks God ordains everything. Everyone please take responsibility for your own actions, it gives you an excuse to think (that includes those who voted for Gore/Kerry).

Rebirthing

I am in a state of excited expectation. For those who know me I am sure you can guess what I am expecting and why it has me excited. For the most part I dont think that moving will make me a better person (I will still complain incessantly) nor do I care if it did. All I care about is making my life and my wife's life more comfortable (read: less cold, less hot, bigger, brighter, newer, more vistaed), which I hope this new place will do.

But in the short term, I think moving is making me a worse person. I do not mean that I am now kill judges or molesting boys. I mean that I am not doing things that I normally would simply because I can say, 'I'll do that after we move'. I guess any reason can be used to procrastinate.

Anyways, less than a week and a half before the move, then there's probably a party because... why not?

Z. Monkey

Stupid Orphan

I saw this over at slashdot. Apparently something good may come out of the copyright office. By the way, fuck you Sunny Bono and your mouse fetish. There is no need for copyrights to any longer than a persons life plus maybe 20 years, but fucking 70 years (95 if you are a corporation).

Fuck you.

Z. Monkey

P.S. Eat shit.

A trip to the B

Morbidity Warning.

My co-workers and me often partake in the B. On the last occasion I observed that a professor died in a car accident (in which another of my co-workers was apparently involved) on the way to the University last Tuesday or Wednesday. This brought about some reminiscing about college days, inparticular the dive a student took off of one of the dorms. The University's response to this not-so-accident was to have a candle light vigil and pave over the blood stain (it was parents weekend and they did not want to upset any parents). Mr. Bino expressed dismay at this stating that he would have liked to take a picture with the stain... perhaps even posing with the stain and pretending it was his own blood. Now we all understood this as a jest, and it really should be taken as such, but I was not suprised when his alignment thing returned the following:

You scored as Chaotic Evil. A Chaotic Evil person is destructive to the extreme. These people put no value in life or beauty, taking pleasure in destroying both what is good and what is ordered. They have little to no respect for laws and the rights of others. Revenge is a powerful motivator for these people. Chaotic Evil 90% Chaotic Good 75% True Neutral 70% Chaotic Neutral 65% Neutral Evil 55% Lawful Evil 50% Neutral Good 25% Lawful Neutral 25% Lawful Good 15% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

For those who think it is unacceptable to jest about death, I say, "If you cannot laugh in the face of death...". I really have no justification, but I am open to suggestions.

Z. Monkey

True Neutral

Apparently I am! Try it yourself! I am stealing links from bastardface again, but I am sure I do not care. Oh, and I also stole the following from his weblog... as mine was almost the same.

You scored as True Neutral. A True Neutral person has two faces- either these people are merely apathetic, preferring to focus their minds on more important things, or these people truly believe in a balance of all things. To these people, there can be no light without some darkness. These people also have no dedication to, or intrinsic distrust of, laws.

Chaotic Good		60%
Neutral Good		60%
True Neutral		60%
Lawful Good		55%
Lawful Evil		40%
Chaotic Neutral		40%
Neutral Evil		35%
Lawful Neutral		35%
Chaotic Evil		30%

It appears, unfortunately, that we are similar. Maybe this is why I never took his God worship seriously. Honestly though, I think that I am true neutral because if I actually cared about stuff going on around, such as a the occupation, redistricting and micro-monolopy, I'd get ulcers. Besides, with corporate friendly judges being appointed to life-long positions, what can one person (not backed by a massive amounts of money) do? I once again apologize for linking to crap.

Z. Monkey

Warning

So that everyone knows, I am in an off mood. Shoveling and waiting for fuckups to get towed off the road are not good things to do right after you wake up. God damn it I want to move. Can I make it two and a half more weeks?! I got a 5 spot that says I will.

He likes to remember when

Contrary to the title I will not be remembering when (though I do not have any adverse feeling towards that activity), it is simply something that came in one ear and out my fingers. Recently I have been busy, not simply at work but at home as well, but I will not be writing about this either.

Instead I will write about stubborn people. My recent observations have lead me to believe that spineless/ineffectual people are more stubborn than aggressive people, but only about certain things. I think that to make up for not getting their way all the time they take one or two things and defend them tooth and nail against all arguments. Who knew dictionary.com did banalities! Aggressive people, on the other hand, are more likely to get their way but less likely to care, i.e. they are more willing to do what is more reasonable and not defend a useless point.

I do not know opinion of aggressive people is correct, as almost all the people I work with are spineless. So all I am sure of is that spineless people make it difficult to get shit done because they will not speak up unless forced to and they defend stupid shit with a passion. I think they like to make themselves out as martyrs. bleg.

Z. Monkey

P.S. Oh, and religious zealots/fanatics/devotees/whatnots are the most stubborn people I know... who else could believe in something so abstract a God, with a "book" (good or no) for proof. I book most likely written over a long period of time by multiple people with different agendas. Suggested reading: Interpreting the New Testament, Interpreting the Old Testament both by Daniel J. Harrington.

Wider than never ever before

I have changed the width of the weblog as part of my slow but continuous modification of the template. If it is to wide for your screen change your resolution or go away and cry... I care not which.

As for my relative happiness theory, a day's observation only seems to reenforces its trueness-osity. Everyone is taking joy at other people getting fired or mispeaking or what not. Perhaps this is not quite the same thing... more of schadenfreude about a single event and not the basis for ones entire mental attitude. As our existence is made up of a bunch of events one could say...

But I will not say... any idiot could come up with such tripe. I will just say that I want it to be warm where I live (my apartment, I dont mind the cold as long as it stays outside) and as it refuses to be my wife and I are moving. I may have already said something about this but I am excited about the possibility of living someplace better and I feel the need to repeatedly say it.

Z. Monkey

Every gets bored sometimes

I have been reading Voltaire's Candide recently and I have the sense that he (Voltaire) has difficulty with happiness and wisdom/learning. Candide wanders the world getting shit on while attempting to figure out the world and why it was created ('to torment me'), why we exist, why evil exists, etc? Normal philosophical questions. At the end of the story Candide decides it is better to not think and just work... work is what makes a person happy and thinking is what makes a person miserable. Hmmm...

I had a point when I started writing this but I was interrupted by recursive cows and a discussion of the worth, or lack there of, of one of the graduate students employed by my employer.

Ah, there it is. One of the ideas that seems to come up quite a bit in Candide (other than mocking Leibnitz) is the idea that ones happiness is relative to other people (i.e. I am less miserable than that guy so I must be happy). While it does not appear that Voltaire supported this idea, I think that I will use it to simplify my view of the world. It shall be called the Theory of Relative Happiness.

Z. Monkey

P.S. What is the only word which contains 'spb' (in that order)?

Please excuse the links in this log of web... I was too lazy to find good ones.