Tragedy of Hirio

Dan, Frank and myself (possibly impossible pain) have started another weblog. This will be an attempt to write a play in the Shakespearian style... hizzah for the Elizabethian theaters! Currently there is not really anything there but soon that will change for the better (worse?).

Z.Monkey

Intellectually Stimulating

This morning I feel like crap. I have yet to recover from this weekend, which makes me feel that I am getting old. Today I hope will be intellectually stimulating for several reasons. First, I will read this in an attempt to actually understand something I have been reading emails about for a long time. Second, I will be going to see this guy talk this evening about stuff. I am wonder about what type of questions people will ask him. I have not read his most recent book, so I feel like I should keep quiet. Third, I will most likely go home and read about Shaxsper. After reading half of the book I can safely say that the Bards life, desire, reasons, e&c will all remain hidden, as they do not make themselves apparent in his writing and there is not much else to work with. After this I will most likely be forced to read a play or two by him. Any suggestions?

Z.Monkey

Oh, does anyone know where I can rent/buy Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead in the seacoast area? I already have a copy of the book but I really want to watch the movie.

Timber!

Being tired is definitely a terrible state of being. Perhaps that is why I am always writing in this thing while I am tired, it is a chance to complain. I have one piece of advice, and that is, 'do not running a ridiculously tiring road race before going to a concert. It is difficult to stand on tired legs.'

The race, as I have already stated, was very tiring. Who would have thought running in mud and water would take so much energy... here are pictures of last years event (as they have not posted any from this year yet). It was also raining and cold.

The concert was good, though I do not think that I got as much out of it as I could have. Fluttr was pretty cool (I will not go through the effort to describe what they sound like) and the Dolls played a bunch of new music (much of which was about drinking and/or masturbation). Blah.

One the whole I think that I need to go to bed early tonight, but this I am unable to do as my hockey game is at 10 o'clock this evening. Crap. The futon in my office is starting to look very inviting.

Z.Monkey

P.S. I think I sense a pattern emerging from what I write. I need to find something to not bitch about or, at the very least, come up with a theme to these ramblings. Even I get bored from constant complaining.

It is too late

It is currently too late to be at work on a Friday. Both my ears hurt, one from being jammed up against a phone for an hour point five, the other because I was sitting next to a loud as fuck server. I want a beer. Why does it always seem that nothing works on when you want to leave.

On Monday our good friend Les is comming up from Alabama. He always brings the fun (read beer and food), which always make doing work for him so much more enjoyable than other, less friendly people. Anyway, I am looking forward to this weekend and next week. This has not happened since the last time I took a week off of work (and got married).

Stay away from your computer... it will only make you do things that you do not want to. That is all.

Z. 'the impaler' Monkey

Terrible

So this morning I took the bus into work, or, to be more accurate, I took one bus to the gym and a second to work. This worked out quite well as all the stops were very close to where I needed to go... thank you university transit system.

I think that this weekend will turn out to be very interesting. I get to hang out with the folks and the pseudo-folks on Saturday. I will probably end up going out to the bar friday night. Then on Sunday there is the Muddy Moose and the Dresdon Dolls and the Flubbr show. I will probably end up seeing the Dan (to whom I must apologize... apparently I learned to tell terrible jokes from my father). All in all an eventful and possibly amusing weekend.

My wife started teaching 7th grade science this week. It is strange for her to not be there when I wake up because, as many of you know, school starts at an absurdly early hour. I will now be forced to learn how to wake up on my own... something I really have not done in several years. I have been writing this thing on an off for the last hour and a half so I am calling it done.

Z.Monkey

Hippie Points

As bastardface pointed out, apparently you can level up your hippie points. I would like to say that I not only use non-disposable bags at the grocery store but I own a hybrid car and ride my bike to work. This last point forces me to begin ranting furiously: I should not feel embarassed for riding to work, but there is a guy a work who makes me feel that way.

I really wish I could find a better picture of this smuck but what can you do (he's the one in the middle).



The reason this guy embarasses me is for the following reasons. (1) He wears spandex not only while he is riding but also while he is working or in class, (2) He is a fucking moron, (3) The first week he work here he sent out an email requesting that our company purchase these, (4) He does not shower after he gets to work (eventhough a shower is conveniently located on the premises) and (5) His voice makes me want to punch him.

Bargh

Z.Monkey

Meinen Geburtstag Baby

Now I do not claim to remember how declinations work aut Deutsch so if the title is bad grammar go to hell (I believe it is in the accusative case). Basic German lessons aside, today I am one year older and, I guess, wiser. I think that the only thing you realize when you get older is that people generally suck, so when you find someone who does not suck you should attempt to keep in contact with them.

This becomes difficult when you know that more and more people will be moving away in the near future, and that those who say they will be moving back are most likely not. Hell, we'll probably move in the next 2 or 3 years. I know that, in the past, letters were used as an attempt to communicate with people but I think that these stupid things maybe better and maintaining contact with other people. I do not know.

I will be playing disc golf this afternoon as it is very nice out.

Z.Monkey

Just Reading Stuff

I want to go home. I do not have a car. So I am waiting to go home. I need to find energy someplace before the hockey game this evening. I also want to sharpen my skates before the game but that may not be possible.

Have you ever sat around all day and read really boring stuff. Well if you have not, you should know that it makes coherent thought impossible. I am currently having trouble even replying to emails. Sigh.

I am Hungry

I will soon eat, but first I will write something. Prehaps being weak from hunger will cause me to write something profound... I think that is why my mom fasts (well not 'write something profound' but 'become crazy').

Last night had a dream, which I kind of remember. As an attempt to improve my member I will write it down (unfortunately for you I will be writing it down here). I starts with me walk down a crowded street (fussgangstrasse?) with tall builds on both sides. Some guy pulls out a gun and starts yelling about 'punishing the wicked'. The crowd parts and we (the crazy guy and I) are ringed in like two kids fighting during recess. At this point I make a snide comment, thus causing the crazy guy to point his gun at me and rave that I am the devil (or some lesser imp). At this point the guy transforms into a spitting image of sloth in the movie Se7en. I then begin yelling at the crazy guy that he is evil/that he is what is evil in the world/e&c. This goes on for a long time before the guy shoots himself in the head. This, of course, does not kill him so I am forced to shoot him in the heart (which does).

I am sure that there is some sort of symbolism here (Fanatiques are what is wrong with the world. If people would just take the time listen and learn about other people, those other people become not scary... wooooo) or maybe it is just that I went to my parents house yesterday. It is difficult to say.

Z.Monkey

P.S. If you are interested the Pope Collage is now on sale!

P.P.S. I just needed to link to this. It was necessary.

Freitag!

Today I am going to determine whether or not there are any free classes that I want to take this summer. I feel that I need to take at least one or two of these free class to make up for all of the money the University took from me when I was an undergraduate (if only I could get my money back from here). The really nice thing is I can choose any fucking course I want! History classes, language classes, pottery classes... you name it.

Also, I must applaud the makers of hockey padding. Last night I was laid out on my back, took a couple of slapshot to the shins and few elbows, fists, e&c. in the back... all without injury.

Finally, it appears that that guy will be moving to the dirty, filthy south in the next few months. I am sure that he will be missed. Hopefully, you can find an all you can eat chinese food buffet that will treated you as well as the B has. Perhaps now he will stop mocking me for writing a weblog and instead write his own (then who will be mocking who, Fat boy!).

Z.Monkey

P.S. Do not use the spell checker in the program it is the suck. How can google make such an easy to use one (gmail) and not use it here?

Stwange Twests of Fate!

I was think last night (pause to get coffee and bagel)... ah that is better. I was think last night that I get easily distracted and not just by pretty lights, loud noises, e&c. but by myself. I have been having some difficulties with not interrupting my thought processes. It is like I have a heckler in my brain who keeps making me forget my lines ("Stwange Twests of Fate!"). For example, writing this thing has been extremely difficult. I have interrupted myself to read my email, write an email, eat my bagel, discover that 'no salt' peanut butter is gross, read a report, and read the news.

Maybe there is some sort of remedy for my lack of concentration... something other than Ritalin. Aside:I think that most people need to take responsibility for their insanities and stop overmedicating. Some sort of mental exercise or something. Maybe I could make a list that details my day and ignore anything that does not fit that list. This is my plan for today:

1. Sit in my chair
2. Turn on music (Handel maybe?)
3. Turn off brain
4. Have lunch
5. Read Webcomics, etc. (see list of links to the right)
6. Go home

I will let you know how this plan works out.

Z.Monkey

Newness

It is the beginning of a new week and I have already started out on the right foot by getting a crap-load of stuff done that I could not seem to get to last week. I may have another vendor in this week and I hope he is not as needy as the last. As for this weekend it was nice. I did some reading. I did some running (5.6 miles loop or something... I believe it may have been all up hill). I did some enjoying of the nice weather.

I have a game this evening, which is fortunate. The Red Sox home opener is also today, which would be fortunate if it did not start at 3pm. What the fuck is with all the games so far this year?! Do they think that people can just up and leave work to watch a sporting event? Erp. Back to work.

Z.Monkey

P.S. I kinda feel like posting something regarding my place in the world/how insignificant I am/how I do not appreciate what is around me enough/my uncanny ability to stall any conversation or my ability to ruin any and all narratives. But instead I will go get a cup of crappy coffee.

Do not email me!

Apparently I selected something stupid in the weblog options. It is no longer set because of him!

jackass has sent you a link to a weblog:

here, you should read this post.

It sure is a good thing you added this "e-mail post to a friend" icon ..

Blog: Affenwald
Post: Help Me Help You
Link: http://zipymonkey.blogspot.com/2005/04/help-me-help-you.html

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Z.Monkey

Help Me Help You

Where I work there is a constant influx of people we call vendors. This is a misleading title as they are not actually selling us anything. Anyways, these vendors come from all parts of the world (though a large number of them come from southern California), which can cause some issues. The following is some advice that may be useful to our vendors (read: a list of complaints):

1. We often have to work in close proximity so please: shower, brush your teeth and use deodorant.
2. Use words not ambiguous body language (do not be a bobblehead).
3. Please understand your own equipment. Do not expect me to debug why your shit will not turn on.
4. Consume food on a regular basis. Do not expect me to work through lunch.
   
5. Rent a car or take a taxi. I do not want to have to pick you up before or drop you off after work (If your company will not pay for a car rental or a few taxi rides I recommend looking for a new place of employment).
6. Bring a change of clothing. It is not appropriate to wear the same outfit for an entire week... it will start to smell.
7. Know how to use your computer and your company's VPN. It really is not that difficult.

That is all I can think of at the moment. Perhaps there will be more.

Z.Monkey

What is it?!

Is it a weblog? Is it a comic? Will it become either? Where are my pants?

http://jialong4eva.blogspot.com/

I just do not know.

I am tired

It is Wednesday and I am worn out. A couple guys from work are bailing after their 1pm class to go to the TP for beer and baseball. I would definitely be there if it were not for the fact that I have to baby sit a vendor all day. Well at least I will not have to watch the game with a Yankees fan... crap I wont even be able to watch the game (stupid 1 of the clock games). If you are bored you can play around with the new peeping tom feature on maps.google.com

I will now write a report and hit myself repeatedly on the face with the my shovel. Oh, fuck! I forgot my shovel! Woh is me!

Z.Monkey

Morning of Shit

It has been a really crappy morning so far. First, I had to wake up, second, I had to come to work but these are normal occurances on Monday and not what really tick me off. Third, I have a vendor in this morning, fourth, I have to pick up said vendor from his hotel (rent a fucking car!), and, finally, I ran a test over the weekend (fucking 16,384 samples in 46 fucking hours) that apparently decided not to actually run. The question is, 'Did the computer turn itself off? or did some dumbass turn it off even though there was a gigantic fucking sign that said: "TESTING"'

Sigh, now I wait for my vendor to call so I can pick his ass up. Woooo. I guess I will read the news, etc. til the monkey taxi service is called into action. Fack you man.

Z.Monkey

Update:

Good news... I did not have to pick up the vendor.
Bad news... the test I was running stopped because some fuck head unplugged the fucking power strip the PC was plugged into. I do not believe it was an accident because you have to crawl under a rack to get to the plug. Warlg!
More bad news... I will now spend the next hour deleting the 800+ duplicate emails I just received. I blame microsoft for make shitty products. Maybe I'll try using something different... hopefully I can painlessly transfer over 4 1/2 years of email.
Even more bad news... I just ate lunch and I am still hungry. I have to leave so I can give Heidi the car as she does not want to be stuck on campus all day.

Ninja Mask!

A Ninja-like SARS mask.





Jar!